Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Like each passage through life, death is both an extremely individual thing, yet paradoxically communal also. Pulled in 2 directions at the same time, anxiety rules: concern for the loved one dying, and the self which has to go on. The thought processes for the real sufferers of death, those who are left to deal with matters, become legion. When Death has passed it leaves great holes and uncertainties in the place of the person who has vacated the shell now before us. Death is not an academic subject, but a matter for the heart, mind and emotions. Preparation for it only gives observational aspects as to who, what, when, where and why. The last question being the one that creates the largest hole. Many say that time is a great healer... but it only distances us from the moment of parting. Dealing with berevement is a string of coping mechanisms utilised when grief strikes. Grief has to be endured until the force subsides, and tears are the pressure valve for the crisis of grief. It's ok to cry... It's ok to cry with the dying. It's ok to cry for your self. It's ok to cry for what you had. It's ok to cry... for tears remove what you cannot put into words. And with each day that passes, tears fulfill their role, healing for the soul.

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