I'll find my way home...

Free on Tuesday.
My Mum Eva Cross, is very ill. She isn't getting stronger and seems not to want to return from wherever she is off to!
The hardest prayer - Thy will be done!
Lord Have Mercy.
Love you always X X X

Therese of Lisieux... Memory Eternal!

When we pray for someone who comes into our life, it is easier to tell God what we believe is best for that person, especially those who are to be close to us.
The hard part is to say Thy Will Be Done...

Saint Therese of Lisieux seemed to "get her own way" with God every time she requested something of Him. But, what she didn't realise was the cost to her as it was God in her working out His purposes, she was just was the speaker for The Word of God to grant God's mercies and graces as are all those who follow Him. She came home to who she was, and had the grace to know what would fulfill her from an early age. She came to realise the cost of discipleship

Stephen; Welcome Home...
Don't look back during your life on Earth. You have been called to a higher purpose and He has work for you to do... Love and Mercy is the Key to opening the doors you think are fast shut, but as you walk each step of this life you will discover who you are. May you also have the grace to know what will fulfill you from your early age.

Peace be with you and LOVE you always...

Your big sister; Catrina. X X X

Aunt Olga May Steer

When our loved ones who live far away die, the reality doesn't sink in for many weeks, even when the funeral is over and life continues as if they were never there.
It's like a wound that cuts very deep, but, as it heals, the skin knits but the scar is always visible.

This life seems like a dream.

I go about my daily life, and all around the world others' lives are coming to an end.
One day mine will too.
I hope and pray that I may know the reality to which Saint Paul refers: "Then we shall know even as we are known. Now we see as in a distorted mirror, then we shall see clearly and face to face".

Rest in peace, Dear Aunt Olga, with Uncle Jack, Dad, Linda, and Mike's Dad, Malcolm.

Love you FOREVER... We'll meet again... Lord, Have Mercy.

Shifting sands of time

Lord, My boat is so small and the ocean so big; Please keep Your hand on the rudder of life, and grant me safe passage through the storms into the safe harbour of Thy Kingdom. Amen.

When I am challenged by outside forces that threaten the stillness of acceptance of life, what do I do?
Burst into tears... !
I do not know where life is heading but I know that my Redeemer liveth,
and His hand is on the rudder of my life.
I ask it always will be!
And, when I get hold of the rudder and pull it the way I want it to go,
I pray He will use enough force to get my hand off it and allow it to go under His direction alone and in His direction always.

Lord, Have mercy.

Falling Asleep..


That's what my darling Sister did on 13th May 2009.


Linda suffered from Pulmonary Hypertension for 4 years, taking each stage of the disease as a garment to be worn.
She kept the depth of her suffering from us, her family, and if love alone could've saved her she would never have become ill in the first place.


Sis; There will never be a day when I won't miss you.


You're dying was so peaceful and what I'd always prayed it would be; That was the miracle.
During those 4 years you became what I always knew you could be... and this time you didn't want to run away.
If we take anything from your life with us, that's it, you finally accepted what you couldn't change, and lived as fully as life would allow you without struggling to change it to other than what it was.
I console my heart, mind and soul with the knowledge and ever increasing hope that you are with My Dad and yours, and all together with The Heavenly Father; and I will always remember the fun, joy and love you gave each of us.
God keep you in His nearer care until I see ya later;
Loveyalots, and forever. Catrina X X X

Waiting for a miracle.

Praying for healing is the hardest prayer of all.
I love my Sister so much and cannot bear watching her suffer anymore.
Lord, Have Mercy.

I hurt for the children of Edlington, the parish where I worship. They have such adult awful words and burdens to bear, which they hear from the people in their lives, who are also hurting and having to carry the evil of the worst attributes of life.
Lord, Have Mercy.

I miss my Dad, and, of course, Mike's Dad.
Lord, Have Mercy.

I pray for those who seek for a companion for this life, especially M.N. and H. knowing they carry love for one who is to come into their life to fulfill the desire of their heart.
Lord, Have Mercy.

Through the prayers of The Most Holy Theotokos, Saint Katerina, Saint Seraphim, Saint John Maximovich and Christ's gift to Essex, Blessed Father Sophrony, O Saviour; Save Us.

C.S.Lewis and The Cross...

Forgive us our trespasses...
Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do...

Put to death... Let go of all that I do not want to become - but I still embody, enflesh all that I, the misguided ego believes and creates I should be, and I follow eagerly.
The truth is it's all fantasy - illusion - because who I am is actually so far from the unity, oneness of being, with and in all Creation with all Humanity.
BE-ing is a present tense.
I was.. I am... I will be - but the truth is, all I have is NOW.

In The Discarded Image, C.S.Lewis states;
"Strictly speaking, He (God, The Holy Trinity) never foresees; He simply sees. Your ‘future’ is only an area, and only for us a special area, of His infinite Now. He sees (not remembers) your yesterday’s acts, because yesterday is still ‘there’ for Him; he sees (not foresees) your tomorrow’s acts, because He is already in tomorrow. As a human spectator, by watching my present act, does not at all infringe its freedom, so I am none the less free to act as I choose in the future because God, in that future (His present) watches me acting".

God is I am.

The I am is always "now", that's why Paul who, through experience, could write with confidence in the truth of this; Jesus Christ the same, yesterday, and to day, and for ever.The main reason the people of that time in Palestine mocked Jesus and scourge Him and put Him to death was because He had showed and said "before Abraham was, I am" (John 8:58)

If I continue to embody all the thoughts that tie me to "identity", I will never allow the work, God's work with my co-operation, of Him restoring His image and likeness which He desires to be accepted by and within my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

To whom can I turn for help in this endeavour?
As Saint Paul, again, wrote - "Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory in our Lord Jesus Christ!"
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword (or recession)?
No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us, and gave Himself for us"

O Lord, By Thy voluntary Passion and offering to and for mankind upon The Cross, You have opened the Gates of Paradise and Peace, and call all to the feast of The Lamb who is also Shepherd, Lord and King.
O long suffering Lord, Glory To Thee. Amen.